1. Guilt - Always used to hurt or control.
2. Anger - Anger is especially effective against those unnerved by openly aggressive behavior.
3. Obligation - Often is the form of an unspoken agreement.
4. Withholding - Primary control ploy used in close relationships. Especially withholding sex.
5. Helplessness - Is a way the controller claims they can not do what they need to do.
6. Teasing - Appears loving and affectionate on the surface, but can be a way for the teaser to make an indirect statement.
7. Questions - Can be an attempt to control when they already know the answers.

These are notes are from a session with one of my favorite long time E-Gurus Dick Sutphen. All credit goes to him and you should look him up if you need Zen in your life.