Every Religion Requires Belief in Life After Death

Most people of this world agree that intuitively our energy does not cease when it leaves our bodies. Everyone from every religion around the world believes in this basic principle. It is the most common and fundamental belief of the ethereal thought process.
“To be afraid of death is only another form of thinking that one is wise when one is not; it is to think that one knows what one does not know. No one knows with regard to death wheather it is not really the greatest blessing that can happen to man; but people dread it as though they were certain it is the greatest evil." -The Last Days of Socrates”
Plato
Life after death gives us hope.  Our conscious mind cannot perceive itself not existing simply because it exist. If we simply returned to the dust, with no continuing purpose our lives would be miserable and full of despair. According to ancient Egyptians it was the one true hell.  To think you are limited and reduced to a mere carbon life form that will be no more at the end of it's physical life is the one true hell.  To believe in dust will only bring emptiness and despair because there is no hope for freedom. We are then subjected to the eternal torture of our own physical ailments because they signal the end of all that is to us.

Energy never ceases, but does change forms. 

Any given energy becomes stronger when focused, and dissipates as it spreads.  It never ceases though.  For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction proving this. Heat energy can change to electrical energy, and electrical energy can spark fire. Fire disperses it's energy, but it is not gone.
“The soul of man is immortal and imperishable.”
Plato
We as carbon beings can use the energies around us in a focused way in order to leverage dominance over our domain. We as energy sources ourselves can bend, move, and displace other energies as we will.

They say we lose a few grams of weight when we die. Does the soul have physical properties that can be measured? We can measure the electrical currents our body produces. We know that as long as we can move that we can synthesis energy from other forms of energy.  We consume food which was other life material, produced by sunlight.  We live off the sun, the sun is energy. We are energy.

Ego and the physical form. 
It is my belief that ego only exist in the physical form. When we are not in the physical form we are void of ego. In our sleep and when we are unconscious we experience being without a sense of ego. Ego is the sense of self.  When this sense is inflated we gain a sense of control, a sense of progress, and investment. Humiliation on the other hand is when someone degrades your self investment. Humiliation is the trigger for violent behavior. Death in the physical sense is threatened almost exclusively because of the ego in the physical realm. Since the ego is reflected to oneself in the physical realm it cannot transpire in the non-physical realm.

Good and Evil

"Selfishness is the only real atheism; aspiration, unselfishness, the only real religion."
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Most of what we interpret as evil actions are selfish acts imposed by others.  They are a product of the ego. Take away our physical form and we cease to find evil as we know it.  Punishments for crime are imposed for theft, lust, control, or power.  Every violent act in the physical realm has no consequence in the spiritual realm, other than returning you to it.

If you thought for a moment that the person you killed could come back to life in another time and give you grief you would be less likely to attack them. There lies a sense of eternal investment.  In the spirit of ourselves and those we love. This gives us hope and the courage it takes to fully live our lives.

Dissipating Energy

The closest thing I can describe as a true cause to evil acts is the sense of desperation of the ego. It is selfish, but not just to others, but the self. The ego will destruct itself if it is left unchecked. Humility will come. Energy is either growing concentrated or dispersing. People who's energy is dispersing are ok with it. Actions manifest in their lives that give fruit to their spirit. Throwing trash out the window, having little regard for others safety, not bathing, violent acts, drug use to escape. These are signs of dispersing or dissipating energy, and to those that it is happening to; they are alright with it.

Concentrated Energy

This is the most active of energies.  It occurs when we have a celestial purpose.  One that supersedes this life. This sprouts selflessness as we grow.  When we love ourselves we show others love too.  It all begins in ourselves. There is no end to love in this stage, and sacrifice is not at a cost, but returns a blessing.

Karma

Karma is the reaction of the universe to our own actions.  It is neither good or evil, but a name for what comes back around when we do something. When we see karma we either think it is a blessing, or justice.

Fear of Death
Death is inevitable and therefore illogical to worry about. Regardless of your religion or beliefs it is going to happen to you too. Since we cannot change that we must concentrate only on the living, as long as we are.
“[T]hose who practice philosophy in the right way are in training for dying and they fear death least of all men.”
~ Plato, Phaedo
I approached the storm, the clouds are dark, and the air is cold.
No stranger to the darkness I ride along.
Attacked by deceit, wounded with pain
I carry the wrath of others sins for them.

Spears of guilt, threats of fear
strengthen the ego and pride.
Control is the illusion of grandeur,
a veil over the emptiness of despair.

Karma is my horse, and keeps me high above the mud.
I trust in Karma and he carries me safe
Those that fear, those afraid and weak,
loath the sight of Karma as it comes near.

Energy is either growing, or receding.
Death is welcomed by the receding,
growing energy cannot be stopped.
Impenetrable by death the light shines truth.

Truth is the evidence of action.
Trails of trust left by time and will.
Leave reminders that love causes change,
shining light into the darkest storms.

The clouds open for a moment.
When the sun shines the illusion is gone.
The fear is void and suffering ceases.
The weak all hide from themselves.

The wrath I carry is not mine to give.
Karma takes me where it must go.
With no anger I have no enemies
Anger first destructs it's host.

The power of the wrath breeds in fear,
multiplies in anger, and believes love weak.
The wrath I carry is not for my vengeance,
but those that take it, harm only themselves.


A set of chakra stones I keep at work. 
I have always found rocks and semi-precious stones fascinating. Every person I know at one point has picked up a rock or crystal and felt some attraction to it.

My first memorable experience was with a large Iron Pyrite crystal I purchased when I was 8 for $1.  I thought it was cool that people thought it was gold.  It felt valuable and similar to what my young mind would imagine as a huge chunk of gold.

Small part of my collection.
I carried that stone around with me, brought it to school to show my friends and kept it on display in my room.  I can still remember the shape of this stone, the large cubed crystals sticking out of it. I remember how it made me feel to this very day.

Whether it is vibrations of the stone, magical powers, or just the soothing color of the yellow it made an impression on me.

Crystals have proven energy.

Crystals have been a subject of research for centuries. The patterned alignment of atoms in various shapes as elements crystallize is still a mystery for the most part.  Every electronic device we use is made up of elements such as gold, quartz, silicone, and aluminum. We use these elements to communicate, heal, calculate, and assist us in our task.

Peizo crystals

Petrified wood I found in AZ.
All those lighters, and gas stove igniters that click click poof.  They operate by Piezoelectricity.  Simply put there is a small piece of quartz crystal with a metallic spring loaded hammer.  When the hammer strikes the quartz a small electric charge is created. This is what ignites the gas.

Clocks

We keep the most accurate time by counting the vibrations of atoms in elements.  Such as the Atomic Clock.

Sugar Crystals

One skeptic told me one time that the only crystal that gives us energy is sugar.  Yes, it does form very shapely crystals and gives us a large burst of energy. So does salt, copper, iron, and many minerals that aid in the smooth operation of our organic bodies.

Uranium

Just another mysterious rock until the 19th century.  It was discovered that very large amount of energy can be emitted by charging and refining this material then exposing two cores to each other.

Sacred Geometry

Throughout history there have been several shapes we find have very mysterious properties. These shapes are caused by the alignment of atoms in elements as they cool, or condense. Why the specific shapes? We have copied nature in our architecture and design.

Old as the Earth

Local serpentine stone from Calaveras CA. 
Rocks have spanned billions of years before we were here. There are rocks all over space, trillions of them. If we re-incarnate after thousands of years we will still see the same patterns, colors, and shapes of the stones. As a re-incarnate point of reference we can find ourselves in touch with pre-life incarnations of our energy.

Amazing Gifts

As my brother pointed out all of the metaphysical properties of all these stones are positive ones. While there is such a thing as too much good, giving a gemstone can only come from the heart. There is no way to give a rock with ill intentions.  Unless of course you use momentum or force.


The definition of Zen escapes most people who are initially inquisitive of Zen ideas. If you look for a definition they will vary greatly. If you look for an explanation you will likely get a cyclic story or ambiguous statement that will seem like anything but an answer.

Zen has been described best to me as a finger pointing toward the moon, but it is neither the finger or the moon.  It is a guide, a path, and morsels of wisdom for the journey.  It is an understanding and recognition of balance. The ability to detach from that which plagues us to better engage it.



Zen is not whimsical or lazy.

Buddha may have been displayed as a fat man, but in reality he was barely 90 lbs. Just as Christians show Jesus being executed at the alter, religions have always promoted their own beliefs while at the same time blaspheming them.

"Before enlightenment - carry water, chop wood.  After enlightenment - chop wood, carry water."

Zen is about practicing everything. Everything you do can always be done better. It is about living in the very moment you are living and applying effort with leverage to work for the best possible outcome in any scenario. Zen is about taking action just as much and it is not. 



Zen is full of paradox and contradictions. Exercises are designed to give thought and insight, while simplifying ideals into actions. Most people view Zen as a very passive belief system.  You will hear some speak of "going with the flow". This is a manner of going about things.  Not wasting time changing things that cannot be different, and recognizing when to act and to do so with ease and without hesitation.

Zen is the end of suffering.

“I teach one thing and one thing only: suffering and the end of suffering.” ~ Buddha

While the translation of this is not exact and obviously Buddha taught many other things the concept remain.  The root of all suffering is resistance to what is.  A Zen mind will accept that everything is perfect.  Everybody you know,  your enemies, birds, clouds, weather, and even dirt is perfect.  Perfect because it cannot be any other way than it is right at this moment.  In order to wish something different you are not accepting of what is.  Since nothing can be different than it is at this moment to feel things should be different is only suffering.

In order to change things you must accept the good and bad of every situation with understanding that the future will never be the same as now and change is progressive and eminent.  So going with the flow is to not waste time and transition through activities like a leaf in a stream.

Suffering with pain

Pain refers to any situation where force is applied with resistance.   Even the slightest pain can torment a soul if the soul tries to escape the pain, rather than accept.

After an American Indian Chiefs tribe was moved to new reservations multiple times he said, "The soul would have no rainbow, if the eyes had no tears."  This statement does not dis allude the idea that pain has been inflicted, but that there is still beauty present in the soul.  In fact the pain inflicted can cause the beauty of that energy to grow, as there will always be a tendency to move away from suffering. 




Plasti-dipped the wheels too.

.

Adventures in Plasti-dip

I love playing with Plasti-dip.  There are many different brands on the market and each is slightly different in texture and spray consistency, but they all peel off relatively easily when you are ready for a change.  You can get it as cheap as $5 a can at Home Depot.  There are many other colors available online, but I like the flat black and white colors. In total I have spent about $20 on paint and have enjoyed endless hours of cheap customization.

About 50% coverage the first coat.
Once the first layer dries you can spray thicker coats.

Dipping the grill will keep the paint from getting nicked as much.

Vents accented in white.

The window bracket, and hinges.


The Grill

Since the grill is so easily removable, I decided to tackle this one Saturday morning. The whole project took about an hour from start to finish.  Plasti-dip dries to the touch in about 5 min, making 5 or 6 coats relatively go quick. It takes about 48 hours to fully cure so make sure you are careful not to nick it.  One guy reported bugs got stuck in his paint when he drove too soon after putting it on.  I drove the next day and had no issues.

Everyone has a different number of coats they say to put on.  Generally I have heard the more layers the easier it is to pull off.  I like to put on 6 coats.

I put extra coats on the wheels.  I knocked out two birds with one stone and decided to rotate my tires at the same time.  Otherwise there would be no reason to not paint them right on the vehicle.  As long as you are careful to not spray the break components.  Perhaps put a plastic bag through the wheel.  Since I was rotating my tires I had removed the wheels.  I placed some tape over the valve stems.  I also placed tape between the rim and tire on two.  This was not really such a good idea because it does not seem to matter.  The plastidip blends in with the tire and does not seem to harm it at all. When I pulled the tape on the two I did tape it caused some blemishes.

I just taped off the hinges and bracket.  Overspray is easily wiped off with a micro-fiber towel.  Cotton works too, you just have to use more elbow grease. Wipe off the overspray within an hour, or it will be harder to rub off.  Too early and it will smear.  Give it at least five minutes.

The vents are easy to remove.  You can find a video on youtube showing you, but you basically place a screwdriver in the little rectangle hole inside the vent to lock the vent.  Then rotate the entire unit a slight turn and it pulls right out. To replace it, slide it in and slightly turn it back the other way.

Side Step

Without a side-step the side looks unfinished.

Installation is a breeze. The Jeep is already threaded
for a side-step.

Now it looks more complete.



This is where I felt like my Jeep was the beginning of a kit. There were already conveniently located threaded holes ready to mount the kit. The installation went pretty smooth and I think it is a necessary addition to cover the unsightly seam plates under the doors. I would say that it only took about an hour from start to finish.  They sell for anywhere between $99 and $500.  I

Rocker Switch

Every vehicle I have needs more switches.
Very nice!
I love to install various colored LED lights. I also love switches that light up. I found this rocker switch panel on Amazon.  In my van I had more options of places to place switches, but the Jeep is more compact so I thought this option would be better. Currently the Orange switch switches on and off my amplifier. So that I don't make enemies of my neighbors or advertise my audio system in the wrong neighborhood I have the ability to shut off the bass without losing my audio. It also helps to be able to shut off the amplifier if you receive a phone call over the built in blue-tooth system.  Unless of course you enjoy peoples voices booming at you.

The red switch currently controls some red LED accent lights on the floor board. The blue switch controls blue LED accent lights on the center console and floor boards. I am not currently using the green switch for anything, but it lights up anyway if you switch it on.

Camper Insert

Sometimes when I go camping I like to sleep in my vehicle.  When I was younger I would have said that is not camping, but there is something I have come to appreciate about sleeping well at night. Although sleeping on the ground is adventurous and gets you 15 ft closer to nature, you also have additional considerations to take into account.  You will have to put your food away, or be terrorized by hungry critters in the middle of the night.  Ironically this happens more at populated camps where the critters have become brave around humans and dependent on their food.

About 12" of storage space underneath.
Attached carpet and painted
particle board. 
Finished camper insert ready for deployment.
Piano hinges were used to connect the particle board.
The front portion extends when the seats are moved forward.
6 12" 2x2s for support. 

I tested this setup at Sunset Beach. There are a few drawbacks that have made this project a prime candidate for a redesign. 
  1. You cannot close the rear gate while in the back.  The window on a Jeep must come down before closing the gate.  There is no way to grab the tailgate and close it.  If you do manage to close it, you will have to climb through one of the front doors to get out. 
  2. The flap on the passenger side was not suitably supported resulting in excessive strain on the piano hinges that caused buckling and needs repair. 
  3. The platform sits very high. This makes it awkward to take a nap during the day when every passer-by can see you. 
  4. Cannot kneel in sleeping area.  Makes dressing difficult and awkward. 

Sound System

Speakers, Amp, and lights.
Installed in camper configuration right behind the drivers seat.
This is almost a necessity for me. I enjoy the full deep sound of my music.  While I do not think it is necessarily all about the bass, without an amplifier and heavy speakers you will miss this part of the music entirely.
I made a custom speaker box taking into consideration the specifications of the speaker requirements as well as the limited space configuration. This is a downward facing box with two 10" Explode speakers. rated at 600 W RMS each, and fits nicely behind the back seat.   I purchased a cheap amplifier off Amazon for $69 with 600W RMS bridged.  At first I installed the speakers on their own channel, but bridged mode gives me the smoothest bass.  This setup will not shake your mirrors off though.  It is just enough to accent the beat of the music.

I still have the stock radio.  It seems to do the job just fine and has CD, Sirius (I don't subscribe, but have before.), AM/FM, blutooth, and USB aux.  I cannot think of any reason to upgrade this.  Especially in a Jeep I will have the top off of sometimes.

I constructed the speaker box to be able to fit behind the front seats in camper configuration, or in the very rear when the backseats are installed. 

2014 Jeep Wrangler JK Sport on the Lot.  


This seemed to be a more economical and reliable option than my previous mode of transportation. Plus I always wanted a Jeep. Years ago I thought I would purchase one after college, but they made them more narrow. There were no arm rest and I felt like a sardine. 

I was impressed with the modernization of the Jeep, but also enamored with it's classic design.The original Jeep had only 60 horse power. Today's Jeep has 260 on the six cylinder. Of course there are many other improvements such as the Freedom Top. I also really liked this new grey color.

Picture from another side with instructions on creating them.
In a discussion about crystals with my brother he showed me a very interesting crystal made out of bismuth.  The formation of the crystal resembles sacred geometry that has been written about for thousands of years.  To look at the formation of the crystal you will see a symbol that you will see everywhere. It is a symbol that even if we do not understand sticks with us.

Notice this Tibetan ceiling pattern.
Two bismuth crystal forms interlocking.
Is it a coincidence or intuitive knowledge that
 his pattern appears on a ceiling.
I have seen this same pattern in wall decorations, wood siding, and decorations from all cultures of the world. It resembles the letter G and has very fascinating metaphysical properties. The properties help with transformation, progression, and order.

Here are some properties of the element. This crystal is formed from the pure element bismuth.
Bismuth levitation experiment. 

In science, experiments are being conducted to explore bismuth in regards to levitation because of its unique magnetic properties.

Throughout history we have seen this same pattern, but usually with the patterns interlocked.

It is a hypothesis of mine that interlocking crystals of a pure element with rare magnetic properties could produce a levitating effect. Perhaps if would react to other magnetic forces by harmonizing within itself somehow.  This is only a intuitive hypothesis of course, but I think this sort of research is fascinating.



Here is a neat YouTube video on how you can make bismuth crystals in your kitchen.
These are great! lol

Inspired by the following awesome commercials.

The originals.

This one is the funniest of all. Jim Carey is hilarious.

A Texas police officer made a hilarious one too.


The beach is right over this hill.
Click to reserve your stay.

Sunset State Beach is one I frequent as it is open year round, there are facilities, and beautiful serene beaches.  You can pay at the kiosk at the camp entrance and it is $35.  If you reserve online you will save the hassle of hunting for an open spot and the chance you will not find a spot for the price of $8.50.
You can reserve online at Reserve America and it will cost you $43.50. There is a tent only section, so if you plan on sleeping in your vehicle make sure you have a back-in spot reserved. I thought the tent only site would be cheaper, but it appears to be the same price on the website.
Wooden plank trail to the top of the ridge.
 I arrived at my camp site at about 4 pm.  I set up camp and went for a little hike along the beach.  I knew I wanted to spend more time at the beach than the peak so I went to the peak first. It was very windy so I didn't spend much time there. 

It was all downhill to the beach from there.  With the exception of the small dune hill by the picnic area. Once you come over the hill you see the ocean.  It was mostly cloudy and slightly windy.  The light made patterns over the water and made the horizon look an ominously grey. The sun felt good and there were very few people on the beach.  I laid in the sand for about an hour listening to the surf. 

The ocean over the crest.

Ah.. da sea!

Removed part of my hardtop
 to enjoy the clouds.
Cold dark night. Perfect for a campfire.
I was in the mood for an afternoon nap so I went back to camp, popped open the roof, and took a nap for an hour and a half.  I woke up just in time for sunset, but it had become so cloudy that there was no obvious sunset.  Just grey to pitch black. There were no stars or moon so I decided it would be fun to try and take some low light exposures. 

I tried to go back to the beach after dark and get some night shots of the waves but it was so dark I couldn't get a quality photo of anything along the way so I turned back to the warmth of camp.  
I sat in the dark cold night comforted by the fire, and ate my packed dinner.  A chicken thigh and a turkey and swiss sandwich. 
Enjoying my campfire.
About 11 pm I was getting pretty tired and the fire was dying down so I decided to call it a night.  This is the part that separates camping from a day trip.  These are some of the longest coldest miserable nights you will experience.

Camping is not all about pleasure and comfort. It is about changing your experiences up a little.  It is a new perspective on what is.  When I was younger I would go camping once a month, it was a spiritual sort of thing for me. The nice thing about the miserable camping trips is that it makes you appreciate your home more. 
My "tent"
This night was not that bad.  I fell asleep in the Jeep with the windows cracked and fell asleep listening to the sound of crashing waves being carried in a pleasant cool salty breeze.  Unless I am physically exhausted from the days activities it is always kinda hard to fall asleep the first night out. I laid in bed until a little past midnight before turning in.  I woke up once to some fighting squirrels, and tossed a few times through the night.   I woke up at the break of dawn to a slight drizzle.  After going to visit the bathroom I pulled my hat down over my eyes and snoozed until about 8:30 feeling refreshed. 
Lifeguard tower.
I decided that I would take a morning walk along the beach before heading back home. It was a cloudy morning and the beach was fairly quiet.  There were plenty of birds enjoying their breakfast of sand critters, and a few anglers trying to catch some surf perch. 




Below are a few more pictures from my adventure...




Enjoying the waves.
View from the beach.

Nap time.

My Jeep tent.

Homemade cargo net keeps items
 like phone and flashlight accessible.

Bathrooms and showers provided.

A little information on the preserve.

Pillars from what used to be a pier?

Camp right before I leave.

Ranger patrols the beach.  (wish they were my tracks.)

North shore Kauai November 2014.
My relationships have always lasted a long time, and some ended for one reason or another.  Once again I am single and I am trying to put together what I have learned so far in my life about relationships.  Specifically, how you go about them and how you do not.

There are just some ways you do not do things my grandfather would have scolded.  We are in an age of trail blazing though.  Everyone wants to break the mold of how things have been done for centuries and find new ways.  We are an experimental culture that is constantly seeking a better way than our parents.

When I was young I dug myself
into a lot more holes.
There was a method to the ways of old.  Especially when it comes to dating. There are benchmarks that have to be met in order to qualify the relationship.  If you move too quickly you will put your heart in jeopardy and that feeling of falling in love will turn upside down in pain in an instant.

Only one solution exist to protect our heart, that one solution used throughout all stages of a relationship is boundaries. When we need space that is a boundary. When we feel upset and hurt we have allowed someone to cross a boundary with our hearts. Boundaries should not be used as fences to keep others out, but rather triggers that you can move past once your heart is ready.

Somebody will not hurt you if they are sleeping with someone else unless you have developed a relationship with them that would have sex as a possible interest.  If you are sleeping with that person then it is cheating.  It is because you allowed them into your heart and now you are hurt. You failed to set a boundary when you saw signs.

Cheating is not the cause of any breakup but a symptom of a bad relationship.  When someone invest their heart into you they cannot share this intimacy with another. If that person does not have that interest in you in the first place you must wonder why they are with you.  You may not be in the role in this persons relationship that you want to be.
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
Rumi

Boundaries

Hawk soars over boundaries. Diamond Mine Hike 2015

Kissing

Once you have engaged in kissing you are already sexually interested in the person.  Some people can have sex without kissing, but never do people kiss without considering sex.

This is a boundary.  Once you have kissed someone you have established a connection of chemistry. Whether you want to go farther is already determined at this point.  This is a trigger, or boundary.

Sex

The trigger tells you to consider the next step.  If you get to this point and have sex then emotionally you have reached another very important boundary.  Sex often happens before trust, but without trust sex cannot last very long.

This trigger makes you consider this very thing.  Unless you have already determined that you have no interest in the relationship other than sex you will most likely start evaluating a future with this person.  Time is the only way to build trust.  Sex is a trust boundary.
Slow shutter speed driving through Los Angeles at night. 

Relationship

Your relationship is building every moment you are in each others lives.  As long as you know each other you will hear about what is going on in their lives. Building this relationship requires communication.  If the communication comes easy as it does in a good relationship you will carry on with each other for hours. You will be interested in their lives and want to be there for them.

Falling in Love

This is a whole different animal.  Not everyone is easy to love.  Building history with someone can build into a long relationship realizing they are in love without falling into it. Falling in love refers to the magnitude of the initial attraction. The clank of two magnets connecting. 
“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.”
~ Joan Crawford
Very strong chemistry can take control of your life.  In the ecstasy of falling in love you will most likely not have a chance but to move forward fast.
When love is not madness, it is not love.
~ Spanish Proverb
Like any building that is constructed in haste you will not have a foundation. Arranged marriages work through this same turmoil over time.  Suddenly you are with someone you must trust whether you believe they are worthy of it. Control becomes an issue and some of these relationships will last a lifetime, love is built but they may or may not fall in love.
Relationship path brainstorm.
If you ever want to sleep well at night, don't marry a young beautiful woman.
~ American Indian Saying

Commitment

Sun over the Arizona Desert 2010. 
If you move in with a girlfriend without a commitment you will be poisoning your relationship.
Especially if you move in quickly. You will suddenly wonder if you can trust this person.  You will probably not know how they act around their friends.  At this point you are too late to resolve any jealous feelings without causing a fight.

Say you move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend and throw a party.  Sometime during the night you see them kiss an ex.  Everybody goes home and when you discuss the situation you have no room to run.  Your boundaries are all crossed. Having jealous feelings at this point is going to hurt the other person as well as you. Since hurt people hurt people you will most likely be sleeping in bed mad with the other for not being sympathetic for your feelings, or you them.

Doubts

It is not what you do in life, but how you do it and why.  When you first enter into a relationship you must be able to make a commitment.  If you or the other person is married either on paper or physically living with someone the relationship can never get a full commitment.

If you suspect a man do not employ him, if you employ him do not suspect him.
~ Chinese Proverb
Same goes for relationships of any sort.  Never doubt going into a relationship.

We only regard those unions as real examples of love and real marriages in which a fixed and unalterable decision has been taken. If men and women contemplate an escape, they do not collect all their powers for the task. In none of the serious and important task of life do we arrange such a "getaway". We cannot love and be limited.
~ Alfred Adler